I complained, I stewed and then I pulled out the Desire Map. Whoooosh... Synchronicities started flying in left and right (8, count em 8 coincidences, that I had experienced and overlooked in that day alone) and I got to the bottom of my shit. What I really want more than anything...
I want to be Worshipped
As soon as I wrote it, I panicked. "Oh my god, did you really write this?" shouted my brain. What a selfish diva-y thing to want.
I breathed through my heart whilst it seized up and stepped back. Obviously, yes some part of me really wants to be worshipped.
Ok, just breathe and allow. If I do as the Goddess that is Danielle LaPorte reminds us: that by following our Desires, we find the way to the fullest expression of our Soul: then I must honor this little truth and see what happens if I embrace it.
"The fact is, they are your current desires and they're trying to show you something: the way to your Soul."
Desire Map pg. 60
So thus embracing, writing, drawing, and journaling the heck out of this truth, I went to bed dreaming upon my being worshiped and letting go of the Guilt, Shame, Ego that tried to come in with it.
The next day, I went to the office and, lo and behold, the worshipping had begun.
- a bag of chocolate sat upon my desk and a fresh orchid on my side table -
No note, no card, no "hey thanks for that" message, just the gifts lay waiting.
And even a week later, it continues... I received not one, but two, amazing gifts of hand made jewelry from clients. Both so soulful and lovely in their perfection and neither artist knowing the depth of the gift she has shared.
I feel so very blessed and honor the part of me that really wants to be worshipped. When we can be in full out honesty with our Soul, the synchronicities can begin to flow and more of Us comes into the world.
"I am in service to the Universe and by honoring my own truth, I can serve in the full magnitude of the the potential my soul holds for me." Thus is my prayer and how I temper my ego each time core desires rise up to the surface.