I imagined myself to be in devotion to the great Mother, in service to the Goddess in all forms and manifestations. And yet, from Mother Mary, there seemed to be a pervading silence. As if I didn't know how to connect or feel her at all.
I have grappled with this-- feeling left out, sad, disappointed, unworthy even, as that little voice in me is so quick to go into hurt.
Her return came this summer, in my own Dark Night of the Soul...
It began with a whack.
A client came in wearing a medallion that blazed itself upon my 3rd eye. I was unable to move, in awe of the visions I was being given and, in an instant, I began to sob. Not delicate lady sniffles either but body wrenching, air gasping, unabashed crying.
Intense yes, but so deeply needed, craved in that moment, I was left without words. And the blessed soul who was sitting across from me awaiting her own magical healing didn't quite know what to say. (thanks again to AV for your amazing generosity and strength in that moment, the gift you gave me is profound!)
The necklace was a gift from Lourdes, about as direct a connection with the Sacred Mother as one can get. While I have visited this place in shamanic space with a few enlightened clients, it was this direct communication that catapulted her love back into my world.
In that moment, I felt such love, tenderness and the undeniable embrace of being truly held.
And it was then that the fear started to dissolve...
A week later, a 2nd visitation. Receiving a Higher Brain Living activation from my friend Michelle, Mother Mary's presence filled the room and over me she whispered, "by your birthday, this will all be done."
Her words answered a question I hadn't even dared to ask. I couldn't comprehend at that moment even what they meant or how this would come to pass.
Collectively with Jesus, Mother Mary and other so the Essenes, I was lifted. The terror soothed and more messages flowed that have continued to come to pass in recent weeks.
The Return has been life altering and deep. My heart now holds a new resonance and on it is emblazoned TRUST. I imagined myself to be a woman of faith before, but now I know within my every cell a new harmony... and one which holds and lifts me in every waking second!
Not to say, I won't still cuss and drink and dance like a dork, but FAITH empowers us with the certainty to be more of ourselves. A blessing that I am enough and a reminder I have the power to change everything in my reality. Watch out darlin, because this world's about to change!